Term I
a) Financial Accounting in Decision Making: Accounting Shenanigans
b) Statistical Methods for Management Decisions: 95% Confidence Interval doesn't always translate to 95% confidence
c) Managerial Economics:Me in your shoes, you in mine!
d) Marketing Management:Restaurant menu can be engineered
Term II
a) Global Economics: The group in minority is the most vocal
b) Decision Models and Optimisation:One can by-pass probability through expectation
c) Competitive Strategy: Strategy works best ex-post
d)Marketing Decision Making: Mark-Strat (sigh!)
Term III
a) Corporate Finance: Arbitrage is a myth
b)Operations Management: An hour saved at a non-bottleneck is a mirage
c) Managerial Accounting and Decision Making: Cost, cost and cost
d)Entrepreneurship: You can chose any profession but nothing beats the thrill of entrepreneurship
Term IV
a)Investment Analysis: It is very difficult to make money in the market
b)Strategic Analysis of Information Technology:Sleeping with eyes wide open
c)Government, Society and Business: Per capita income is not the best measure of human development
d)Management of Organisations: You can fool some of the people all of the time and all the people some of the time
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
The Dharma of Business
I was 9 at that time, very keen to start my own library. And so I did. I with two of my closest friend on the 1st Monday of May set up our very own library. Everyone was invited, all they needed to pay was an entrance fee of Rs 5/= if they didn’t rent a book, and Rs 2/= if they rented any book. As we started making money we got more and more creative. More money followed. The neighborhood guy Abhay, kept a close watch. Within a week, we were staring at his library, far fancy, and much superior. And then one day we lost everything. Just like that, our dreams shattered. The reason: Water from somewhere destroyed all our books. Five days later we came to know through some internal sources that, it was Abhay’s idea. We were heartbroken and seething with anger, we wanted justice but we had no proof. It was then that my teacher gave me the biggest lesson of my life: At the end of the day you have to do your duty, and if someone comes in between you and your duty, you deal with it through Chanakya’s four principles of Saam (Equality), Daam (Enticement), Dand (Punishment/ war), Bhed (sowing dissension). The dharma of our business was at that time to preserve its existence, in whatever way it could.
I look at a business as an end in itself. We all are cogs in that intricate machinery. Our purpose is to keep it running, because it in a big way defines who we are as owners. It gives us everything, food, clothes and a roof. If anything poses any risk to it, we should defend it. It’s a scary world we’re living in. A world where one can trust no one but oneself, the biggest dharma of our business is to keep itself running and protect itself from the world. In an ideal world everyone would play by the rule and there would be no need to play hard. But this is the real world where and I quote “you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain”. The world at some point was fair and then somewhere something went wrong, terribly wrong. And then this ugliness spread until the root of corruption entangled everyone and everything. We are at a point of no return, the only way to fight is to fight hard and fight rough. So I believe it’s ok to undercut if the survival of the business is at stake. In the context of a business it’s nothing more than a creative intervention. There is always someone waiting for you to give them the first chance to destroy you. To fight them you have to think like them. That’s the only way, and that the only right ‘wrong’ way!
I look at a business as an end in itself. We all are cogs in that intricate machinery. Our purpose is to keep it running, because it in a big way defines who we are as owners. It gives us everything, food, clothes and a roof. If anything poses any risk to it, we should defend it. It’s a scary world we’re living in. A world where one can trust no one but oneself, the biggest dharma of our business is to keep itself running and protect itself from the world. In an ideal world everyone would play by the rule and there would be no need to play hard. But this is the real world where and I quote “you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become a villain”. The world at some point was fair and then somewhere something went wrong, terribly wrong. And then this ugliness spread until the root of corruption entangled everyone and everything. We are at a point of no return, the only way to fight is to fight hard and fight rough. So I believe it’s ok to undercut if the survival of the business is at stake. In the context of a business it’s nothing more than a creative intervention. There is always someone waiting for you to give them the first chance to destroy you. To fight them you have to think like them. That’s the only way, and that the only right ‘wrong’ way!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
A marathon called life!
It was during my last few days at IIT, I was sitting atop OAT wall with two of my closest friends, Piyush and Bhan. We were fretting about how are lives were doomed to the point of no return and how there seemed no tomorrow. We had screwed CAT, the job prospects seemed bleak and our personal lives weren't going anywhere. It was then in a moment of truth Bhan mentioned "Yaar the life is a marathon where we'll live for at least 80 years. So what we've started slow. The track is too long and we can cover up". The argument seemed good but it didn't change my mood. I was still reeling in shock. My great dream was shattered and it didn't feel too good. Three years I struggled with my condition and finally now I understand what he meant. Life and its wondrous uncertainty is humbling and we can never know what it has in store for us. Luck is dynamic and it explains more variance in success that we in our moment of hubris attribute it to. I now appreciate every word of the the statement and am much more satisfied. Still a long way to go!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Five months at ISB: My takeaways
1) Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize
2) Academics is not the be all and end all of an MBA but can be fun nevertheless
3) It is very important to enjoy what you're doing without any regrets. Any regret that you may have is irrelevant. So if you attended the Co2008 Lounge Party over a CorpFin assignment, it was probably worth it. After all you can't put value to an hour of unadulterated fun.
4)Don't take tangible outputs such as Grades, Projects etc too seriously. Try and have fun, the result may surprise you
5)Try and enjoy the process, have tremendous expectation from the process, not from the result. If you have done something to the best of your abilities, pat yourself, it's then that the result doesn't matter.
6)There is a lot of luck that separates an A(-) from an A.It's important you don't give over importance or feel dejected just because you didn't max it.
7)Know why you came here. This should help you to be focussed
8)Look at your study-group mates as friends. Be responsible to your group. Invest in the relationship. I've had the good fortune of having a ball with my study group. Don't let your assignment grades be any indicator of the camaraderie you share.
9)As our GSB Prof would say per capita income is not really the best indicator of human development, so make sure you choose a job that best fits with your vision of your life. McKinsey is good but is it really for you?
10) Finally appreciate your time here, it is running faster than you think. And we know we'll miss it!
2) Academics is not the be all and end all of an MBA but can be fun nevertheless
3) It is very important to enjoy what you're doing without any regrets. Any regret that you may have is irrelevant. So if you attended the Co2008 Lounge Party over a CorpFin assignment, it was probably worth it. After all you can't put value to an hour of unadulterated fun.
4)Don't take tangible outputs such as Grades, Projects etc too seriously. Try and have fun, the result may surprise you
5)Try and enjoy the process, have tremendous expectation from the process, not from the result. If you have done something to the best of your abilities, pat yourself, it's then that the result doesn't matter.
6)There is a lot of luck that separates an A(-) from an A.It's important you don't give over importance or feel dejected just because you didn't max it.
7)Know why you came here. This should help you to be focussed
8)Look at your study-group mates as friends. Be responsible to your group. Invest in the relationship. I've had the good fortune of having a ball with my study group. Don't let your assignment grades be any indicator of the camaraderie you share.
9)As our GSB Prof would say per capita income is not really the best indicator of human development, so make sure you choose a job that best fits with your vision of your life. McKinsey is good but is it really for you?
10) Finally appreciate your time here, it is running faster than you think. And we know we'll miss it!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Bandhan-2009
As I walked back to my room from the AC2 Lawns, I closed my eyes. “Let me imagine a world without vision”, I spoke out loud. Ten steps into the 200 meter walk I fell. The shrubs gently pierced my skin, and a small drop of blood oozed out. But I was determined, I didn’t let go. It was an important lesson I wanted myself to learn. And so I got up. Pictures started to flash in front of me: Potatoes, brush and onions. I choked-I could clearly see the children and their eyes. And suddenly I was in my Corporate Finance class, studying Miller and Modigliani Irrelevance Proposition. For the first time I could relate to the theory. In a perfect world, the distribution of wealth would not matter. We would all be happy in our own world. We would be clapping our hands, whenever we felt happy, we would share our joys. We would shed tears. But this is not a perfect world the MM Irrelevance did not apply here.
Suddenly I hit the wall, I opened my eyes for the first time in 10 minutes, I was nowhere close to where I expected. My head felt several notches heavier. I felt the need to go back. I had to see the children again. I wanted to tell them, how they make me realize what a petty man I’ve been. They make me want to scream; to every friend of mine who I’ve seen getting depressed on not getting an A, or not getting an ELP. But I couldn’t muster the courage; I couldn’t look eye to eye. How I admired each and every volunteer, who could ‘share a smile’; for I couldn’t. May be all I can do is Accounting, and feel happy every time I do it well.
I closed my eyes again. I knew where my steps will take me. I tripped on something. It was a potato. A few kids clapped. I felt lighter. I opened my eyes; I was in the lawns again. I was ready to play. I was ready to 'share a smile'!
Suddenly I hit the wall, I opened my eyes for the first time in 10 minutes, I was nowhere close to where I expected. My head felt several notches heavier. I felt the need to go back. I had to see the children again. I wanted to tell them, how they make me realize what a petty man I’ve been. They make me want to scream; to every friend of mine who I’ve seen getting depressed on not getting an A, or not getting an ELP. But I couldn’t muster the courage; I couldn’t look eye to eye. How I admired each and every volunteer, who could ‘share a smile’; for I couldn’t. May be all I can do is Accounting, and feel happy every time I do it well.
I closed my eyes again. I knew where my steps will take me. I tripped on something. It was a potato. A few kids clapped. I felt lighter. I opened my eyes; I was in the lawns again. I was ready to play. I was ready to 'share a smile'!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Random Ramblings – Honest to God
Scene: Barista-5 minutes later
Yash: Ok Nikhil, I’ll fill in the details later. I think she is coming
Nikhil: I’ll be waiting!
Hangs up the phone
Shivangi: Hey I am back, whom were you talking to, your friend; told him we kissed?
Yash: Heyyy you’re back, no,,umm, you crazy..wwhy would I call my friend. My mom called…
Shivangi: Just joking Yash, I just want to apologize for my action. I know you must have judged me and you have full right to do so…
Yash: Relax Shivangi-I didn’t judge you. Here’s your cappuccino.
Shivangi: Thanks. Hey do you want to play a game, it’ll be fun.
Yash: C’mmon ya, we’re too grown up to play games. Tell me what you think of the current economic crisis.
Shivangi: I think that I don’t care. Please let’s play, I promise we’ll stop the moment you feel bored.
Yash: Ok, what is it about?
Shivangi: Oh, nothing, for the next 30 minutes, we’ll answer questions. But there’s a twist. We’ll only be speaking the truth. And before you ask, we are morally bound not to get hurt by whatever we hear, and NO judging
Yash: What, this is crazy. This is like the truth and dare only lesser people, and no dares. And by the way I always speak the truth.
Shivangi: This was your first and the last lie for the next 30 minutes. Let’s start
Yash (to himself): This is crazy.
Oh c’mon….. (Pauses) Ok let’s play
Shivangi: Were you talking to your mom earlier?
Yash: Of-course….(Pauses) No, it was a friend
Shivangi: Did you tell him we kissed
Yash: Yes
Shivangi: Awesome that was brave.
Yash: Did you tell anyone that we kissed.
Shivangi: No
Yash: Do you have a boy-friend or you made one up
Shivangi: I made one up.
Yash: Did you get fired?
Shivangi: No I didn’t
Yash (a little angered): Was I chosen to be called for the next round.
Shivangi: Yes. Are you mad at me?
Yash: Yes. Are you attracted to me?
Shivangi: Yes. Are you enjoying the game?
Yash: Hell yes! Is this meeting planned?
Shivangi: as in?
Yash: As in, did you purposely get down with me?
Shivangi: Yes
Yash: Do you like me?
Shivangi: No.
Yash: Wait you told me earlier that you were attracted to me and now you tell me that you don’t like me?
Shivangi: Do you like every girl you are attracted to?
Yash: No
Shivangi: Do you like me?
Yash: No, I love you.
Long Pause
Yash: Does this change anything?
Shivangi: No. Is anything what you told me about your childhood true?
Yash: Yes, a part of it
Shivangi: Which part?
Yash: That I dated three girls at a time. Wait no even that is not true, I dated four at a time.
Yash: Why did you kiss me?
Shivangi: We’re supposed to answer in Yes or No. So this doesn’t qualify as a question.
Yash: Ok did you kiss me out a sense of pity?
Shivangi: No, I really don’t know why I did it.
Yash: Do you want to sleep with me?
Shivangi: No, Do you?
Yash: Yes, Will you walk off now?
Shivangi: No. Will you judge me if I didn’t?
Yash: Yes. Ok please answer this and it cannot be in a yes or a no. Why are you sitting with me? It kills me, I don’t understand. You don’t like me; you are smart, intelligent and funny. You can get any guy. Why me?
Shivangi: See this is not the first time I am talking to you, and the reason I am talking to you is the same as always. I have nothing better to do. Anyway I guess now that the half an hour is over, I better get going. Have to attend a meeting. Have to help a company to increase its productivity.
Yash: You are a bitch.
Shivangi: I know. Here’s my card. Will see you soon.
Yash: Never (Tears the card in two)
Shivangi: Anyway bye!
Women exits
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.
Yash: Hello
Nikhil: Hey man, it’s Nikhil, tell me what happened. Are you guys making out or something?
Yash hangs up, picks up the torn card and walks off
Nikhil: Bastard didn’t even answer. He always does this when he is with some girl. Lucky bastard.
Exuent!
Yash: Ok Nikhil, I’ll fill in the details later. I think she is coming
Nikhil: I’ll be waiting!
Hangs up the phone
Shivangi: Hey I am back, whom were you talking to, your friend; told him we kissed?
Yash: Heyyy you’re back, no,,umm, you crazy..wwhy would I call my friend. My mom called…
Shivangi: Just joking Yash, I just want to apologize for my action. I know you must have judged me and you have full right to do so…
Yash: Relax Shivangi-I didn’t judge you. Here’s your cappuccino.
Shivangi: Thanks. Hey do you want to play a game, it’ll be fun.
Yash: C’mmon ya, we’re too grown up to play games. Tell me what you think of the current economic crisis.
Shivangi: I think that I don’t care. Please let’s play, I promise we’ll stop the moment you feel bored.
Yash: Ok, what is it about?
Shivangi: Oh, nothing, for the next 30 minutes, we’ll answer questions. But there’s a twist. We’ll only be speaking the truth. And before you ask, we are morally bound not to get hurt by whatever we hear, and NO judging
Yash: What, this is crazy. This is like the truth and dare only lesser people, and no dares. And by the way I always speak the truth.
Shivangi: This was your first and the last lie for the next 30 minutes. Let’s start
Yash (to himself): This is crazy.
Oh c’mon….. (Pauses) Ok let’s play
Shivangi: Were you talking to your mom earlier?
Yash: Of-course….(Pauses) No, it was a friend
Shivangi: Did you tell him we kissed
Yash: Yes
Shivangi: Awesome that was brave.
Yash: Did you tell anyone that we kissed.
Shivangi: No
Yash: Do you have a boy-friend or you made one up
Shivangi: I made one up.
Yash: Did you get fired?
Shivangi: No I didn’t
Yash (a little angered): Was I chosen to be called for the next round.
Shivangi: Yes. Are you mad at me?
Yash: Yes. Are you attracted to me?
Shivangi: Yes. Are you enjoying the game?
Yash: Hell yes! Is this meeting planned?
Shivangi: as in?
Yash: As in, did you purposely get down with me?
Shivangi: Yes
Yash: Do you like me?
Shivangi: No.
Yash: Wait you told me earlier that you were attracted to me and now you tell me that you don’t like me?
Shivangi: Do you like every girl you are attracted to?
Yash: No
Shivangi: Do you like me?
Yash: No, I love you.
Long Pause
Yash: Does this change anything?
Shivangi: No. Is anything what you told me about your childhood true?
Yash: Yes, a part of it
Shivangi: Which part?
Yash: That I dated three girls at a time. Wait no even that is not true, I dated four at a time.
Yash: Why did you kiss me?
Shivangi: We’re supposed to answer in Yes or No. So this doesn’t qualify as a question.
Yash: Ok did you kiss me out a sense of pity?
Shivangi: No, I really don’t know why I did it.
Yash: Do you want to sleep with me?
Shivangi: No, Do you?
Yash: Yes, Will you walk off now?
Shivangi: No. Will you judge me if I didn’t?
Yash: Yes. Ok please answer this and it cannot be in a yes or a no. Why are you sitting with me? It kills me, I don’t understand. You don’t like me; you are smart, intelligent and funny. You can get any guy. Why me?
Shivangi: See this is not the first time I am talking to you, and the reason I am talking to you is the same as always. I have nothing better to do. Anyway I guess now that the half an hour is over, I better get going. Have to attend a meeting. Have to help a company to increase its productivity.
Yash: You are a bitch.
Shivangi: I know. Here’s my card. Will see you soon.
Yash: Never (Tears the card in two)
Shivangi: Anyway bye!
Women exits
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.
Yash: Hello
Nikhil: Hey man, it’s Nikhil, tell me what happened. Are you guys making out or something?
Yash hangs up, picks up the torn card and walks off
Nikhil: Bastard didn’t even answer. He always does this when he is with some girl. Lucky bastard.
Exuent!
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Random Ramblings Part 3
Time: 2 weeks after Part 2
Scene: Jet Airways Flight No. 9W334, Delhi to Mumbai
Shivangi walks towards her seat. Suddenly she stops!
Shivangi (surprised and some what happy): Hi Yash, What are you doing here?
Yash: Shivangi!!!Ah! It’s you again. Well after you rejected my application, I am job hunting. You know interviewing for people who have to potential to recognize talent when it comes before them. I can’t believe you never even gave me another chance. By the way, how come you are sitting next to mere mortals like us? Where’s your business class seat?
Shivangi (sitting quietly): Never mind Yash.
(Behind)Passengers are requested to fasten their seat belts
5 minutes later
Yash: Why would you do this Shivangi, why?
Shivangi doesn’t answer
Yash (shouting): I am talking to you
Shivangi: Yash, you have caught me on my bad day. Please I cannot talk right now. Please, you can scream at me later
A tear trickles down her face
Yash (softens): Hey, don’t cry. What happened?
Shivangi: Nothing, really nothing
Yash: Shivangi, I am sorry. I realize I was terrible that day. No-one would have hired me. I would have not hired myself. Please sorry. Tell me what happened. I am not upset any more. In fact I am not job hunting, I already got placed with one of your competitors.
Shivangi: Not anymore!
Yash: What do you mean?
Shivangi: I got fired.
Yash: Whatttttt? Why, how, when?? Why would they do that?
Shivangi: That’s the way it is Yash. It happened the same day I interviewed you.
Yash: But what was the reason?
Shivangi: Let it be Yash. There is no point.
Yash: Listen Shivangi, it’s ok. I’ll forward your resume to my managers. Don’t worry it’s a matter of a few days.
Shivangi: That’s not the only thing Yash. My boyfriend of 5 years moved out today.
Yash: Boyfriend…moved out…as in?
Shivangi: I was living in with my boyfriend for the past 2 years and we had a break up in the morning
Yash: I am so sorry ya. What happened? Why did he do that?
Shivangi: Oh, it’s just that his mother of 30 years didn’t approve of me.
Yash: So? He just left? He didn’t try to explain it to her?
Shivangi: No he didn’t. In fact he blamed me for meeting up with his mom in jeans; and wearing no make-up; something which she judged me on
Yash: Wow! A horrible day. It’s going to be ok. He’ll repent it. I am telling you. By the way where are you going right now? I mean, do you have some work or something?
Shivangi: I don’t know Yash, I don’t know. Anyway, just so that you know, you were chosen to be called for another round, but then suddenly we were told not to hire anyone and cancel all the appointments. So…..
Yash: I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say.
Shivangi: Then don’t…..!
Yash: Shivangi, I know this is not a good time. But I think you should try and forget everything right now. Let’s go for coffee once we land. I’m sure you’ll feel better
Shivangi: Thanks Yash, but I don’t feel like doing anything really
Yash: Please I insist.
Shivangi: Fine, but (laughs) you’ll pay
Yash: Sure!
45 minutes later, Barista
Yash: There you go Shivangi, your cappuccino
Shivangi: Yash, I am sorry I judged you. You are a nice guy. Really. But why are you like this. Why this need to show your ugly side.
Yash: You know Shivangi, I had a terrible childhood. We were a middle-class family and my father could not afford me the luxuries that children in my society enjoyed. Besides I was quite fat and ugly, with pimples on my face. To top it, I had a running nose. Everyone hated me. No one wanted me. Children used to laugh at me, at my running nose. And thus grew a need in me to be accepted, to be loved. As I grew up, I realized that the world only respects success. If you are successful, you could be arrogant; you could scream at people; you could be an ass ho@# but you could still get people to love you. I learnt this and this became the truth of my life. As I grew up things started to get better, my father got a big promotion and my mom’s boutique started to get more and more customers. We moved to a big house. Meanwhile I saw the attitude of people changing towards me. Guys who never even looked at me offered me their lunch. Girls suddenly wanted me to take them out for coffee.It was then I thought of taking it out on everyone. The girls were my prop. I dated three at a time, breaking hearts; breaking trust; breaking faith. No one ever complained. I was the most famous guy in the college. It is ironic how even though I kept changing for the worse but still I was loved more than ever.
(Long silence)
It’s true Shivangi, the world only respects your chair. It only respects your face not your soul. This world is ugly. It’s not even worth living…….The world needs a person who can rule; they don’t like the people who are meek, who are helpless. Everyone wants an enabler, a prop. The day we are deemed not good enough to be either we are dumped.
(Long silence)
Wow, I think I have shared too much. I am sorry
Shivangi (with tears in her eyes): It’s ok Yash. It’s ok
Leans forward and kisses Yash on his lips.
Yash: wwwhyy?
Shivangi: I don’t know..I really don’t! Anyway I’ll just come back in a moment. Please order another cappuccino for me.
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi exits
Yash takes out his phone, and dials a 10 digit number.
Yash: Hello, Nikhil; I kissed her
Nikhil: Bingo!!!
Exuent!
Scene: Jet Airways Flight No. 9W334, Delhi to Mumbai
Shivangi walks towards her seat. Suddenly she stops!
Shivangi (surprised and some what happy): Hi Yash, What are you doing here?
Yash: Shivangi!!!Ah! It’s you again. Well after you rejected my application, I am job hunting. You know interviewing for people who have to potential to recognize talent when it comes before them. I can’t believe you never even gave me another chance. By the way, how come you are sitting next to mere mortals like us? Where’s your business class seat?
Shivangi (sitting quietly): Never mind Yash.
(Behind)Passengers are requested to fasten their seat belts
5 minutes later
Yash: Why would you do this Shivangi, why?
Shivangi doesn’t answer
Yash (shouting): I am talking to you
Shivangi: Yash, you have caught me on my bad day. Please I cannot talk right now. Please, you can scream at me later
A tear trickles down her face
Yash (softens): Hey, don’t cry. What happened?
Shivangi: Nothing, really nothing
Yash: Shivangi, I am sorry. I realize I was terrible that day. No-one would have hired me. I would have not hired myself. Please sorry. Tell me what happened. I am not upset any more. In fact I am not job hunting, I already got placed with one of your competitors.
Shivangi: Not anymore!
Yash: What do you mean?
Shivangi: I got fired.
Yash: Whatttttt? Why, how, when?? Why would they do that?
Shivangi: That’s the way it is Yash. It happened the same day I interviewed you.
Yash: But what was the reason?
Shivangi: Let it be Yash. There is no point.
Yash: Listen Shivangi, it’s ok. I’ll forward your resume to my managers. Don’t worry it’s a matter of a few days.
Shivangi: That’s not the only thing Yash. My boyfriend of 5 years moved out today.
Yash: Boyfriend…moved out…as in?
Shivangi: I was living in with my boyfriend for the past 2 years and we had a break up in the morning
Yash: I am so sorry ya. What happened? Why did he do that?
Shivangi: Oh, it’s just that his mother of 30 years didn’t approve of me.
Yash: So? He just left? He didn’t try to explain it to her?
Shivangi: No he didn’t. In fact he blamed me for meeting up with his mom in jeans; and wearing no make-up; something which she judged me on
Yash: Wow! A horrible day. It’s going to be ok. He’ll repent it. I am telling you. By the way where are you going right now? I mean, do you have some work or something?
Shivangi: I don’t know Yash, I don’t know. Anyway, just so that you know, you were chosen to be called for another round, but then suddenly we were told not to hire anyone and cancel all the appointments. So…..
Yash: I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say.
Shivangi: Then don’t…..!
Yash: Shivangi, I know this is not a good time. But I think you should try and forget everything right now. Let’s go for coffee once we land. I’m sure you’ll feel better
Shivangi: Thanks Yash, but I don’t feel like doing anything really
Yash: Please I insist.
Shivangi: Fine, but (laughs) you’ll pay
Yash: Sure!
45 minutes later, Barista
Yash: There you go Shivangi, your cappuccino
Shivangi: Yash, I am sorry I judged you. You are a nice guy. Really. But why are you like this. Why this need to show your ugly side.
Yash: You know Shivangi, I had a terrible childhood. We were a middle-class family and my father could not afford me the luxuries that children in my society enjoyed. Besides I was quite fat and ugly, with pimples on my face. To top it, I had a running nose. Everyone hated me. No one wanted me. Children used to laugh at me, at my running nose. And thus grew a need in me to be accepted, to be loved. As I grew up, I realized that the world only respects success. If you are successful, you could be arrogant; you could scream at people; you could be an ass ho@# but you could still get people to love you. I learnt this and this became the truth of my life. As I grew up things started to get better, my father got a big promotion and my mom’s boutique started to get more and more customers. We moved to a big house. Meanwhile I saw the attitude of people changing towards me. Guys who never even looked at me offered me their lunch. Girls suddenly wanted me to take them out for coffee.It was then I thought of taking it out on everyone. The girls were my prop. I dated three at a time, breaking hearts; breaking trust; breaking faith. No one ever complained. I was the most famous guy in the college. It is ironic how even though I kept changing for the worse but still I was loved more than ever.
(Long silence)
It’s true Shivangi, the world only respects your chair. It only respects your face not your soul. This world is ugly. It’s not even worth living…….The world needs a person who can rule; they don’t like the people who are meek, who are helpless. Everyone wants an enabler, a prop. The day we are deemed not good enough to be either we are dumped.
(Long silence)
Wow, I think I have shared too much. I am sorry
Shivangi (with tears in her eyes): It’s ok Yash. It’s ok
Leans forward and kisses Yash on his lips.
Yash: wwwhyy?
Shivangi: I don’t know..I really don’t! Anyway I’ll just come back in a moment. Please order another cappuccino for me.
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi exits
Yash takes out his phone, and dials a 10 digit number.
Yash: Hello, Nikhil; I kissed her
Nikhil: Bingo!!!
Exuent!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Coffee and conversations!
Ok, so it is confirmed. The economy is under severe recession. So what? ‘You, me and hum’ are safe. Of-course only inefficient and non-performers get fired. Nothing will happen to me. Or so I thought.
Until it happened. The axe fell. And now I am without a job. Could this really happen? I had always been the best. I attended the best of institutes, got the best grades; my boss said I was his support system; his back bone. How can one throw away his back bone with such disdain?
My brain has started conjuring scary images. What now? How do I tell my friends? What about my parents? What about my wife, my children?
This was not how it was meant to be. I was supposed to have my first car by the time I was 26. I was supposed to move into the 4 BHK South Ex flat before I completed 10,593 days on planet earth. I was supposed to direct my first movie by the time I was 33. Pray, why me?
Am I doomed to die in poverty? Was I destined to be a loser?
Suddenly it starts to rain. There is a deafening noise. An image slowly appears.
Image: My child, I am God. Why are you so upset?
Man: You are asking me this. You brought it on me. Why me. I always studied. I never did anything wrong. Why this?
Image: My son, when I conceived the world, I decided that I would let a man make his own destiny. But this was too much power in the hands of certain people who ended up making their destiny and deciding it for the others. It corrupted the world. So I introduced the concept of luck/chance. The way I distributed the luck -bucket was random and hence was fair. To make it a little more fair, I gave every human some special powers. The power of optimism, the power of hard work, the power of goodness. This way if luck eluded him; he could still redeem himself through these powers. Those who could recognize these special powers enjoyed life; a life which presented challenge, but was still a lot of fun. Those who did not choked themselves to a meaningless existence.
Recognize these powers my son. Do not despair.
The image disappears…..
Man: God, where are you. Don’t go, talk to me…..Gaaaaaawdd!
You and i in this beautiful world,
green grass....blue sky in this beautiful world
Man wakes up…..Hello. ..Yes this is him. What I got fired… (laughs) You bet I did. Don't worry, I have the power.Thank you and have a great day….!! Bye
Hangs up the phone
(To himself) Wow, I never felt better!
Until it happened. The axe fell. And now I am without a job. Could this really happen? I had always been the best. I attended the best of institutes, got the best grades; my boss said I was his support system; his back bone. How can one throw away his back bone with such disdain?
My brain has started conjuring scary images. What now? How do I tell my friends? What about my parents? What about my wife, my children?
This was not how it was meant to be. I was supposed to have my first car by the time I was 26. I was supposed to move into the 4 BHK South Ex flat before I completed 10,593 days on planet earth. I was supposed to direct my first movie by the time I was 33. Pray, why me?
Am I doomed to die in poverty? Was I destined to be a loser?
Suddenly it starts to rain. There is a deafening noise. An image slowly appears.
Image: My child, I am God. Why are you so upset?
Man: You are asking me this. You brought it on me. Why me. I always studied. I never did anything wrong. Why this?
Image: My son, when I conceived the world, I decided that I would let a man make his own destiny. But this was too much power in the hands of certain people who ended up making their destiny and deciding it for the others. It corrupted the world. So I introduced the concept of luck/chance. The way I distributed the luck -bucket was random and hence was fair. To make it a little more fair, I gave every human some special powers. The power of optimism, the power of hard work, the power of goodness. This way if luck eluded him; he could still redeem himself through these powers. Those who could recognize these special powers enjoyed life; a life which presented challenge, but was still a lot of fun. Those who did not choked themselves to a meaningless existence.
Recognize these powers my son. Do not despair.
The image disappears…..
Man: God, where are you. Don’t go, talk to me…..Gaaaaaawdd!
You and i in this beautiful world,
green grass....blue sky in this beautiful world
Man wakes up…..Hello. ..Yes this is him. What I got fired… (laughs) You bet I did. Don't worry, I have the power.Thank you and have a great day….!! Bye
Hangs up the phone
(To himself) Wow, I never felt better!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Random Ramblings Part One and Half (The Mourning After)
Scene: Next morning after the wedding
Yash takes out his Vertu mobile and starts dialing a 10 digit number
Yash: Hey dude, it’s me
Man on the other side (MOTOS): Hey Yash!
Yash: Dude, you wouldn’t believe it, I got turned down by a woman.
MOTOS: Whatttttt! You kidding me, whooo, whatt, when, how!
Yash: Stop it dude. I am feeling terrible; she mocked me as if I was some perverted bastard.
MOTOS: (Smiles) Dude, you are one perverted bastard
Yash: Motherf#$%#
MOTOS: Ok, ok, tell me what happened.
Yash: No I won’t. You are a pig. May you die a virgin!!
MOTOS: That I will anyway. Achcha tell me yaar, please.
Yash: So I was there at this wedding looking at prospective targets. Then I saw this female. She looked like an easy lay, what with her dress, and her low neck top. She was even smoking, the classic sign of a women being easy.
MOTOS: And then…
Yash: Like a man smitten, I went up to her and used my finest line
MOTOS: Ok, the “fail to notice how beautiful you look.” one
Yash: Yeah that, but then she acted as if she had heard it all her life.
MOTOS: Was she hot or something
Yash: No man, she was below average, just an easy lay nothing more
MOTOS: May be she was the intellectual types. Did you use the IIT line?
Yash: I did, nothing worked man. She even told me that being an engineer she thought I was desperate. I mean how did she know….In fact she was herself an IIT admit.
MOTOS: You’re kidding me. (Laughing) Then she must have been smart
Yash: Stop it yaar, you know girls are not smart. It’s just that she knew how to act smart. Wait I need to attend a call….
Hello…Hi Neha, I mean Sneha..Ya baby, we’re on. Ya I was missing you last night. I realized I was being a pig by not picking up your calls…yes I love you…No I am never going to cheat on you….You know how much I love you…Yes sure…Please wear that dress I brought you…yea..tht one….Baby, I need to go right now…I am in a meeting. Of course I couldn’t avoid your call. Yea see you then.. Buh Bye. I love you!
Ya dude, I am back
MOTOS: Who was it?
Yash: Yea a cranky bitch. So where was I?
MOTOS: You were telling me how the girl knows how to act smart.
Yash: Yea, so the bitch didn’t even tell me her name or her number. Can you believe it?
MOTOS: This is your true test. You’ve found your match. Find her, tell her how rich you are, how big you are, ouch I mean big hearted. Tell her that you love her. Tell her how you get 10 grands as pocket money
Yash: (sarcastically) Yea, now I need to take advice from you
MOTOS: Stop acting like you’re God’s gift to women
Yash: But I am, atleast that’s what my previous girl friends told me.
MOTOS: ok, here’s what you’ll do. You’ll find her, act all geeky and humble. Ask her to give you another chance, then take her to a small quite restaurant and get her to drink. You know the rest…
Yash: I guess I can do that, but let me first see her….This is terrible. I hate her….
Lame girl, here I come
MOTOS: All the best, by the way, if you manage to score, can I get Sneha.
Yash: You bet! Ok then dude, will see you sometime. Buh Bye!
MOTOS: Yea. HAPPY Humping.Bye!
Exeunt!
Yash takes out his Vertu mobile and starts dialing a 10 digit number
Yash: Hey dude, it’s me
Man on the other side (MOTOS): Hey Yash!
Yash: Dude, you wouldn’t believe it, I got turned down by a woman.
MOTOS: Whatttttt! You kidding me, whooo, whatt, when, how!
Yash: Stop it dude. I am feeling terrible; she mocked me as if I was some perverted bastard.
MOTOS: (Smiles) Dude, you are one perverted bastard
Yash: Motherf#$%#
MOTOS: Ok, ok, tell me what happened.
Yash: No I won’t. You are a pig. May you die a virgin!!
MOTOS: That I will anyway. Achcha tell me yaar, please.
Yash: So I was there at this wedding looking at prospective targets. Then I saw this female. She looked like an easy lay, what with her dress, and her low neck top. She was even smoking, the classic sign of a women being easy.
MOTOS: And then…
Yash: Like a man smitten, I went up to her and used my finest line
MOTOS: Ok, the “fail to notice how beautiful you look.” one
Yash: Yeah that, but then she acted as if she had heard it all her life.
MOTOS: Was she hot or something
Yash: No man, she was below average, just an easy lay nothing more
MOTOS: May be she was the intellectual types. Did you use the IIT line?
Yash: I did, nothing worked man. She even told me that being an engineer she thought I was desperate. I mean how did she know….In fact she was herself an IIT admit.
MOTOS: You’re kidding me. (Laughing) Then she must have been smart
Yash: Stop it yaar, you know girls are not smart. It’s just that she knew how to act smart. Wait I need to attend a call….
Hello…Hi Neha, I mean Sneha..Ya baby, we’re on. Ya I was missing you last night. I realized I was being a pig by not picking up your calls…yes I love you…No I am never going to cheat on you….You know how much I love you…Yes sure…Please wear that dress I brought you…yea..tht one….Baby, I need to go right now…I am in a meeting. Of course I couldn’t avoid your call. Yea see you then.. Buh Bye. I love you!
Ya dude, I am back
MOTOS: Who was it?
Yash: Yea a cranky bitch. So where was I?
MOTOS: You were telling me how the girl knows how to act smart.
Yash: Yea, so the bitch didn’t even tell me her name or her number. Can you believe it?
MOTOS: This is your true test. You’ve found your match. Find her, tell her how rich you are, how big you are, ouch I mean big hearted. Tell her that you love her. Tell her how you get 10 grands as pocket money
Yash: (sarcastically) Yea, now I need to take advice from you
MOTOS: Stop acting like you’re God’s gift to women
Yash: But I am, atleast that’s what my previous girl friends told me.
MOTOS: ok, here’s what you’ll do. You’ll find her, act all geeky and humble. Ask her to give you another chance, then take her to a small quite restaurant and get her to drink. You know the rest…
Yash: I guess I can do that, but let me first see her….This is terrible. I hate her….
Lame girl, here I come
MOTOS: All the best, by the way, if you manage to score, can I get Sneha.
Yash: You bet! Ok then dude, will see you sometime. Buh Bye!
MOTOS: Yea. HAPPY Humping.Bye!
Exeunt!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Random Ramblings Part 2
Time: 5 years later
Scene: Hyatt Lobby
Man: Hey, aren’t you the same chick I met at the wedding 5 years back
Woman: Huh! No I am not.
Man: Don’t lie to me
Woman: I am not lying; really I am NO CHICK you met at a party
Man: Ok, I get it. I am sorry, are you the same lady I met at the party
Woman: You haven’t changed one bit. You are beyond repair and totally not worth my time. Anyway how may I help you?
Man: I am here for an interview. What brings you here?
Woman: What interview?
Man: Ah, you know I got through IIM Ahd (with characteristic smug), am here to interview for McKinsey. What about you?
Woman: I am here to interview you for McKinsey.
Man: Holy cr$%!
Woman: Well that’s a good start. I am here for a smoke. Will see you in some time, till then why don’t you comb your hair, and may be wash your face as well. You hardly look like you’ll make a good impression otherwise.
Woman exits
Man (to himself): This can’t be happening. How can she be with McKinsey? Is she playing with me? Let me check.Shit, I don’t even know her name. What should I do now? May be wash my face first.
(Rumbles) This will also pass. This will also pass
Exeunt!
Scene: Room No. 69, 20 minutes later
A smartly dressed woman is sitting. She calls the reception
Woman: Please send the next candidate in.
3 minutes later.
Man: May I come in?
Woman: Yes, please. Have a seat.
Man (Shivering): Hi, I am Yash.
Woman: Good to have you here Yash. I am Shivangi. I am an Engagement Manager with McKinsey. So let us start with your brief background.
Yash: Errr…Ummmm. My nnamme is Yash Johar, no I mean Yash Gupta. I am a ….
(To himself) I can’t do it. This can’t be happening. How can I be working under her? Lame girl, with a thick accent and no brain.
…………………….I am a team player. My biggest strengths are my team skills….. I love …………
I believe my 2 years at IIM Ahd have………………
……………………………………………
Shivangi(smiling): Ok, that was impressive. So you are a national level debater. Why don’t you speak for 2 mins on “Women make better manager than men?”
Yash: (to himself) Yes of course. Bitch!
That’s a nice topic. Let me just recollect my thoughts.
1 minute later. Ok here I go:
Women have been at the forefront………..
………………………………………….
…………………………………………
Therefore I believe women make better managers than men.
Shivangi: That was pretty convincing. Ok let us get to a case now. A case study is a critical component of our recruiting process. Case studies are descriptions of real or hypothetical business problems. Candidates are expected to understand, analyze, and recommend solutions to these problems. So are you ready?
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi: A client of ours, a small flower chain store has asked us to evaluate the potential of setting up a store, near a famous banquet hall (booked almost 200 days a year). They believe that a lot of men who attend weddings/parties look out for their prospective partners there. What factors will you consider while accepting or refuting the clients’ hypothesis?
Yash (to himself) I can’t believe her, is she trying to target me for what I did 5 years ago.
Ummm..Shivangi that’s an interesting case………………….
……………………………………………………………….
……………………………………………………………….
So I would recommend the client to reconsider his decision.
Shivangi: Well the client asked you to evaluate the potential. So there is no question of reconsidering. Anyway I guess that’s it from our side. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: (in a trance)
Shivangi: Yashhhh. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: Yea, sure. If I may ask. What did you do after NIFT?
Shivangi: Well nothing specific really. I worked with Ralph Lauren for 4 years and then went to HBS and finally chose to work with McKinsey.
Yash (Surprised): But weren’t you in NIFT 5 years earlier? The timelines don’t make any sense.
Shivangi: Yea..at that time I had already graduated from NIFT. Any other question?
Yash: Are you married?
Shivangi: You may go now Mr.Gupta. You will be informed of the next steps in an email. Please be patient for a few days. Thank you.
Yash: Thank you Shivangi
Exeunt!
Disclaimer: The events mentioned in the scene are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events is coincidental. McKinsey interview process may differ radically from what is mentioned in the scene.
Scene: Hyatt Lobby
Man: Hey, aren’t you the same chick I met at the wedding 5 years back
Woman: Huh! No I am not.
Man: Don’t lie to me
Woman: I am not lying; really I am NO CHICK you met at a party
Man: Ok, I get it. I am sorry, are you the same lady I met at the party
Woman: You haven’t changed one bit. You are beyond repair and totally not worth my time. Anyway how may I help you?
Man: I am here for an interview. What brings you here?
Woman: What interview?
Man: Ah, you know I got through IIM Ahd (with characteristic smug), am here to interview for McKinsey. What about you?
Woman: I am here to interview you for McKinsey.
Man: Holy cr$%!
Woman: Well that’s a good start. I am here for a smoke. Will see you in some time, till then why don’t you comb your hair, and may be wash your face as well. You hardly look like you’ll make a good impression otherwise.
Woman exits
Man (to himself): This can’t be happening. How can she be with McKinsey? Is she playing with me? Let me check.Shit, I don’t even know her name. What should I do now? May be wash my face first.
(Rumbles) This will also pass. This will also pass
Exeunt!
Scene: Room No. 69, 20 minutes later
A smartly dressed woman is sitting. She calls the reception
Woman: Please send the next candidate in.
3 minutes later.
Man: May I come in?
Woman: Yes, please. Have a seat.
Man (Shivering): Hi, I am Yash.
Woman: Good to have you here Yash. I am Shivangi. I am an Engagement Manager with McKinsey. So let us start with your brief background.
Yash: Errr…Ummmm. My nnamme is Yash Johar, no I mean Yash Gupta. I am a ….
(To himself) I can’t do it. This can’t be happening. How can I be working under her? Lame girl, with a thick accent and no brain.
…………………….I am a team player. My biggest strengths are my team skills….. I love …………
I believe my 2 years at IIM Ahd have………………
……………………………………………
Shivangi(smiling): Ok, that was impressive. So you are a national level debater. Why don’t you speak for 2 mins on “Women make better manager than men?”
Yash: (to himself) Yes of course. Bitch!
That’s a nice topic. Let me just recollect my thoughts.
1 minute later. Ok here I go:
Women have been at the forefront………..
………………………………………….
…………………………………………
Therefore I believe women make better managers than men.
Shivangi: That was pretty convincing. Ok let us get to a case now. A case study is a critical component of our recruiting process. Case studies are descriptions of real or hypothetical business problems. Candidates are expected to understand, analyze, and recommend solutions to these problems. So are you ready?
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi: A client of ours, a small flower chain store has asked us to evaluate the potential of setting up a store, near a famous banquet hall (booked almost 200 days a year). They believe that a lot of men who attend weddings/parties look out for their prospective partners there. What factors will you consider while accepting or refuting the clients’ hypothesis?
Yash (to himself) I can’t believe her, is she trying to target me for what I did 5 years ago.
Ummm..Shivangi that’s an interesting case………………….
……………………………………………………………….
……………………………………………………………….
So I would recommend the client to reconsider his decision.
Shivangi: Well the client asked you to evaluate the potential. So there is no question of reconsidering. Anyway I guess that’s it from our side. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: (in a trance)
Shivangi: Yashhhh. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: Yea, sure. If I may ask. What did you do after NIFT?
Shivangi: Well nothing specific really. I worked with Ralph Lauren for 4 years and then went to HBS and finally chose to work with McKinsey.
Yash (Surprised): But weren’t you in NIFT 5 years earlier? The timelines don’t make any sense.
Shivangi: Yea..at that time I had already graduated from NIFT. Any other question?
Yash: Are you married?
Shivangi: You may go now Mr.Gupta. You will be informed of the next steps in an email. Please be patient for a few days. Thank you.
Yash: Thank you Shivangi
Exeunt!
Disclaimer: The events mentioned in the scene are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events is coincidental. McKinsey interview process may differ radically from what is mentioned in the scene.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Random Ramblings
Scene: Wedding party
Man: Hi! Can’t fail to notice how beautiful you look.
Woman: Do I know you?
Man: Well, even if you didn’t it wouldn’t change your beauty.
Woman: Ya, I know guys like you. Nice try.
Man: Hey hang on; see I know you are getting bored. Let’s have a harmless conversation. Please don’t run away from me as if I am one psychotic dude. You can check my background; I come from an honorable family.
Woman: (Laughs), Alright. But I have a few conditions. You will not ask me my name, and you will not even try to get my number. Deal?
Man: Deal. You are one hard nut to crack. Anyway so what do you do?
Woman: Well, I am into fashion designing.
Man: Ah! Classic, you know I have always wondered that women who are into fashion would make the best combination with engineers like me
Woman: Too bad, I think the opposite. So you are an engineer (sarcastically)
Man: Yeah and this is bad because…?
Woman: Quite clearly you would be desperate. Desperate for attention, desperate for women, and generally money and stuff
Man: Wow, some opinion yaa..Well can’t blame you…It’s easy to judge..! But I still maintain my stance.
Woman: (ignoring) Anyway which college
Man: (as if waiting for the question) IIT Delhi
Woman: Hmm…you think that you are quite smart don’t you?
Man: Well not really. Why would you say that?
Woman: Could get it from the smugness in your face when you answered my question. Anyway I got admitted into IIT, but a change of heart took me to NIFT.
Man: (Surprised) Wow!!!
Woman: Anyway, cut it. What do you do in your free time except hitting on girls?
Man: Umm…I just don’t do anything. Just sit and relax!
Woman: Don’t you get bored?
Man: I love myself too much to get bored in my own company.
Woman: You know, you remind me of my ex-boy friend. I hated that guy!
Man: Ah! Joker. Good one
Woman: No I mean it!
Man: You know throughout the conversation, you did not leave one opportunity to put me down. But strangely enough, I am loving every moment of it!
Woman: Yea, I can understand, engineers and desperation go hand in hand. OK, tell me your count?
Man: Count?
Woman: How many women have you slept with?
Man: (Surprised) And that is important because?
Woman: Generally..
Man: Well if you must know I am a recycled virgin
Woman: Recycled virgin, and what is this supposed to mean?
Man: I mean, I believe virginity can be cured; you just need to understand the symptoms.
Woman: You know I can’t believe that I am even talking to you, you are so not my type
Man: And what is your type
Woman: For starters, he has to be unpretentious.
Man: Haha..I have got to know you better…I have never been so humiliated in my life..you give me a challenge, and I am loving it.
Woman: I am not your Mt. Everest Mr. I am leaving, I guess I have had enough of you
Man: Don’t go
Woman: Sorry but I need to
Man: Could you at least tell me your name, or give me your number
Woman: You’ve forgotten the deal.
Man: Ok, please grant me this: If I meet you again somewhere, some other day, you will talk to me.
Woman: Granted. Take care, and please be yourself!
Man: I will!
Woman exits..
Man (to himself): I love this girl. If only I could meet her again.!
Exeunt!
Man: Hi! Can’t fail to notice how beautiful you look.
Woman: Do I know you?
Man: Well, even if you didn’t it wouldn’t change your beauty.
Woman: Ya, I know guys like you. Nice try.
Man: Hey hang on; see I know you are getting bored. Let’s have a harmless conversation. Please don’t run away from me as if I am one psychotic dude. You can check my background; I come from an honorable family.
Woman: (Laughs), Alright. But I have a few conditions. You will not ask me my name, and you will not even try to get my number. Deal?
Man: Deal. You are one hard nut to crack. Anyway so what do you do?
Woman: Well, I am into fashion designing.
Man: Ah! Classic, you know I have always wondered that women who are into fashion would make the best combination with engineers like me
Woman: Too bad, I think the opposite. So you are an engineer (sarcastically)
Man: Yeah and this is bad because…?
Woman: Quite clearly you would be desperate. Desperate for attention, desperate for women, and generally money and stuff
Man: Wow, some opinion yaa..Well can’t blame you…It’s easy to judge..! But I still maintain my stance.
Woman: (ignoring) Anyway which college
Man: (as if waiting for the question) IIT Delhi
Woman: Hmm…you think that you are quite smart don’t you?
Man: Well not really. Why would you say that?
Woman: Could get it from the smugness in your face when you answered my question. Anyway I got admitted into IIT, but a change of heart took me to NIFT.
Man: (Surprised) Wow!!!
Woman: Anyway, cut it. What do you do in your free time except hitting on girls?
Man: Umm…I just don’t do anything. Just sit and relax!
Woman: Don’t you get bored?
Man: I love myself too much to get bored in my own company.
Woman: You know, you remind me of my ex-boy friend. I hated that guy!
Man: Ah! Joker. Good one
Woman: No I mean it!
Man: You know throughout the conversation, you did not leave one opportunity to put me down. But strangely enough, I am loving every moment of it!
Woman: Yea, I can understand, engineers and desperation go hand in hand. OK, tell me your count?
Man: Count?
Woman: How many women have you slept with?
Man: (Surprised) And that is important because?
Woman: Generally..
Man: Well if you must know I am a recycled virgin
Woman: Recycled virgin, and what is this supposed to mean?
Man: I mean, I believe virginity can be cured; you just need to understand the symptoms.
Woman: You know I can’t believe that I am even talking to you, you are so not my type
Man: And what is your type
Woman: For starters, he has to be unpretentious.
Man: Haha..I have got to know you better…I have never been so humiliated in my life..you give me a challenge, and I am loving it.
Woman: I am not your Mt. Everest Mr. I am leaving, I guess I have had enough of you
Man: Don’t go
Woman: Sorry but I need to
Man: Could you at least tell me your name, or give me your number
Woman: You’ve forgotten the deal.
Man: Ok, please grant me this: If I meet you again somewhere, some other day, you will talk to me.
Woman: Granted. Take care, and please be yourself!
Man: I will!
Woman exits..
Man (to himself): I love this girl. If only I could meet her again.!
Exeunt!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Dev OD'ed
Well Not Really! I have always held Anurag Kashyap in very high regard for his visual flair, choice of subject and conceptualization. Somehow between the abstract one could see the man's intelligence, his clarity. His problem, as is with such individuals is ‘hubris’. Somewhere he loses it; over indulging where subtle would have been the best. Yet there is something about him, which tells me he'd be remembered for his cinema.
I have a habit of watching a movie for the merit of its director, so a Tarantino film always merits a watch, a Nikhil Advani film is always a convenient avoid. This rule though changes with Abhay Deol; he is the only current actor who has an amazing knack of picking up different scripts. Scripts that might not please the pundits, but almost always find a cult following. So I set out to watch Dev D for two reasons, Abhay Deol and Anurag Kashyap, two minutes into the movie I found a third. Ladies and gentleman let's put our hands together for the most killer soundtrack in ages. Amit Trivedi has used exceptional creativity in composing music that merges seamlessly with the narrative. There were times when the characters were quite and one could still decipher what was going in their heads. That’s the power of music. Full marks to Anurag Kashyap for cleverly using the 18 tracks very intelligently for character and the story development.
Anyway back to the story, Dev D is a modern interpretation of the novel Devdas, but in a lot of ways it is completely its antithesis. In Dev D the characters are not black or white, the situations are not melodramatic and the tragedy is not tear-inducing. Here life’s a bitch and characters are ‘sluts’. You can see Dev making out with a chick before getting worked up on Paro’s supposed affair with another man. Here Paro is an all abusing female, not ready to take shit from anyone. She is not crying but gyrating on her wedding. Here ‘Chanda’ can speak English in an accent and can turn on a man with her voice. Here Dev uses sex to get over Paro and most interestingly one never gets to know whether Dev truly loves Paro or was he pushed into depression because he thought someone else would ‘do her’ and not him.
Dev D takes Devdas and turns it head on. Especially interesting is the fact that assuming that Dev and Paro would have wanted to get married, there would have been no family opposition. In fact Dev’s father wanted Paro to get married to Dev. Anurag Kashyap cleverly changes the story line to make it a tragedy of the situation rather than the characters. It’s here that he develops pathos. When Paro questions Dev’s manliness, you cringe, cos you understand how it would hit a man’s ego. When Dev enters the brothel you see ‘Maar Daala’ playing on the television. Dev D is about such in-jokes.
Performance wise Abhay Deol has enacted the role quite well, save for certain scenes where he tries too hard. Mahi Gill is exceptional as Paro, while Kalki Koechlin looks very much the character she is portraying.
The only portion which disappointed me was the ending, which looked too rushed and too forced. It kind of killed the built-up to the climax. Even though I liked the positive ending, it did not look too convincing. Leave that aside and Dev D rocks. It is an extremely visceral experience, filled with humor and characters true to life. When one of the side-kicks asks Dev ‘iski abhi tak nahi li aapne sir’, a friend quietly chuckled, probably reminiscing the last time he asked someone a similar question!
I have a habit of watching a movie for the merit of its director, so a Tarantino film always merits a watch, a Nikhil Advani film is always a convenient avoid. This rule though changes with Abhay Deol; he is the only current actor who has an amazing knack of picking up different scripts. Scripts that might not please the pundits, but almost always find a cult following. So I set out to watch Dev D for two reasons, Abhay Deol and Anurag Kashyap, two minutes into the movie I found a third. Ladies and gentleman let's put our hands together for the most killer soundtrack in ages. Amit Trivedi has used exceptional creativity in composing music that merges seamlessly with the narrative. There were times when the characters were quite and one could still decipher what was going in their heads. That’s the power of music. Full marks to Anurag Kashyap for cleverly using the 18 tracks very intelligently for character and the story development.
Anyway back to the story, Dev D is a modern interpretation of the novel Devdas, but in a lot of ways it is completely its antithesis. In Dev D the characters are not black or white, the situations are not melodramatic and the tragedy is not tear-inducing. Here life’s a bitch and characters are ‘sluts’. You can see Dev making out with a chick before getting worked up on Paro’s supposed affair with another man. Here Paro is an all abusing female, not ready to take shit from anyone. She is not crying but gyrating on her wedding. Here ‘Chanda’ can speak English in an accent and can turn on a man with her voice. Here Dev uses sex to get over Paro and most interestingly one never gets to know whether Dev truly loves Paro or was he pushed into depression because he thought someone else would ‘do her’ and not him.
Dev D takes Devdas and turns it head on. Especially interesting is the fact that assuming that Dev and Paro would have wanted to get married, there would have been no family opposition. In fact Dev’s father wanted Paro to get married to Dev. Anurag Kashyap cleverly changes the story line to make it a tragedy of the situation rather than the characters. It’s here that he develops pathos. When Paro questions Dev’s manliness, you cringe, cos you understand how it would hit a man’s ego. When Dev enters the brothel you see ‘Maar Daala’ playing on the television. Dev D is about such in-jokes.
Performance wise Abhay Deol has enacted the role quite well, save for certain scenes where he tries too hard. Mahi Gill is exceptional as Paro, while Kalki Koechlin looks very much the character she is portraying.
The only portion which disappointed me was the ending, which looked too rushed and too forced. It kind of killed the built-up to the climax. Even though I liked the positive ending, it did not look too convincing. Leave that aside and Dev D rocks. It is an extremely visceral experience, filled with humor and characters true to life. When one of the side-kicks asks Dev ‘iski abhi tak nahi li aapne sir’, a friend quietly chuckled, probably reminiscing the last time he asked someone a similar question!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Leave Memento alone: Hai Guzarish!
The worst mistake you can do while watching Gajini is to compare it to Memento. It would be as asinine as comparing Sholay to The Seven Samurai. Yes the movie is inspired but it has its own soul to make comparison mindless and a futile exercise in general.
Gajini is a revenge drama with dollops of violence thrown in and some light moments intercepting the non-linear narrative. For a revenge drama to appeal, it is important that the lead character can make the audience feel empathetic to his/her crisis. This can be achieved through a mix of great acting, a ghastly villain, some truly spine-chilling moments and a touch of irony. This is where Kill-Bill made its mark. Gajini does falter on a few parameters, but has enough meat to keep it going for three hours.
Sanjay Singhania is a businessman with dreams in his eyes and heart in his head. A twist in the tale introduces him to the lovely Kalpana. Alas it was not meant to be and she is savagely murdered, while Sanjay is brutally hit on his head trying to save her. Though he survives the blow, he contracts a typical condition called anterograde amnesia short-term memory loss, where he cannot remember anything for more than 15 minutes. How Sanjay gets his revenge with the handicap forms the crux of the movie.
There have been a lot of negative reviews about the movie being over-the-top and masala in its approach. How I see it is, that Aamir Khan was due for a movie which was over-the-top and mad-cap like Andaz Apna Apna. The fine actor in him refused to play a character which he has done before, so he chose to do something which he has never done before. Play a Sunny Deol and more convincingly at that. You can see the actor in him genuinely having a ball. He punches, he gyrates, then he punches some more and then he gyrates some more. The point I am trying to make is that there are certain movies, which are beyond reviews because simply they are expected to be blockbusters. Where you are expected to whistle every time the hero makes an entry, where you enjoy his punches without questioning the logic. And before we talk of expectations which we have from Aamir Khan, the actor, let me tell you that every actor deserves this kind of fun. Amitabh Bachchan did it in Amar Akbar Anthony, Agnipath, Shaan and numerous movies. And we loved it. He fought crocodiles, killed tigers and we looked in awe. The challenge here is not whether a human can do it but it is whether Mr. Bachchan can make us believe that he could do it. And this is where I feel Aamir Khan did really well. So when he punches a guy and his face turned 3600 , I believed in it, reveled in the action and looked in awe. Call me stupid, moron, but there where atleast 150 odd people in the audience who felt the same. I heard no laughter, no chuckles.
Anyway I had a lot of fun watching the movie simply because I didn’t carry the baggage, that some of us might have.
And yes, as I said initially as well, the movie has its flaws, there are a lot of inconsistencies in the movie. I choose to ignore them simply because I see no point in nitpicking when I got my hour’s worth.
So my final verdict is, if you can just sit back and not question every scene, you’ll have fun, because Aamir Khan has carried the movie very well on his shoulder. But if you would want to analyze every scene, question every character and actions, it would be in your best interest to steer clear of Gajini and pick up a DVD of Memento. This is NOT an intelligent movie. This is Aamir Khan genuinely having fun. And this is what he wants us to do as well!
Gajini is a revenge drama with dollops of violence thrown in and some light moments intercepting the non-linear narrative. For a revenge drama to appeal, it is important that the lead character can make the audience feel empathetic to his/her crisis. This can be achieved through a mix of great acting, a ghastly villain, some truly spine-chilling moments and a touch of irony. This is where Kill-Bill made its mark. Gajini does falter on a few parameters, but has enough meat to keep it going for three hours.
Sanjay Singhania is a businessman with dreams in his eyes and heart in his head. A twist in the tale introduces him to the lovely Kalpana. Alas it was not meant to be and she is savagely murdered, while Sanjay is brutally hit on his head trying to save her. Though he survives the blow, he contracts a typical condition called anterograde amnesia short-term memory loss, where he cannot remember anything for more than 15 minutes. How Sanjay gets his revenge with the handicap forms the crux of the movie.
There have been a lot of negative reviews about the movie being over-the-top and masala in its approach. How I see it is, that Aamir Khan was due for a movie which was over-the-top and mad-cap like Andaz Apna Apna. The fine actor in him refused to play a character which he has done before, so he chose to do something which he has never done before. Play a Sunny Deol and more convincingly at that. You can see the actor in him genuinely having a ball. He punches, he gyrates, then he punches some more and then he gyrates some more. The point I am trying to make is that there are certain movies, which are beyond reviews because simply they are expected to be blockbusters. Where you are expected to whistle every time the hero makes an entry, where you enjoy his punches without questioning the logic. And before we talk of expectations which we have from Aamir Khan, the actor, let me tell you that every actor deserves this kind of fun. Amitabh Bachchan did it in Amar Akbar Anthony, Agnipath, Shaan and numerous movies. And we loved it. He fought crocodiles, killed tigers and we looked in awe. The challenge here is not whether a human can do it but it is whether Mr. Bachchan can make us believe that he could do it. And this is where I feel Aamir Khan did really well. So when he punches a guy and his face turned 3600 , I believed in it, reveled in the action and looked in awe. Call me stupid, moron, but there where atleast 150 odd people in the audience who felt the same. I heard no laughter, no chuckles.
Anyway I had a lot of fun watching the movie simply because I didn’t carry the baggage, that some of us might have.
And yes, as I said initially as well, the movie has its flaws, there are a lot of inconsistencies in the movie. I choose to ignore them simply because I see no point in nitpicking when I got my hour’s worth.
So my final verdict is, if you can just sit back and not question every scene, you’ll have fun, because Aamir Khan has carried the movie very well on his shoulder. But if you would want to analyze every scene, question every character and actions, it would be in your best interest to steer clear of Gajini and pick up a DVD of Memento. This is NOT an intelligent movie. This is Aamir Khan genuinely having fun. And this is what he wants us to do as well!
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