Scene: Barista-5 minutes later
Yash: Ok Nikhil, I’ll fill in the details later. I think she is coming
Nikhil: I’ll be waiting!
Hangs up the phone
Shivangi: Hey I am back, whom were you talking to, your friend; told him we kissed?
Yash: Heyyy you’re back, no,,umm, you crazy..wwhy would I call my friend. My mom called…
Shivangi: Just joking Yash, I just want to apologize for my action. I know you must have judged me and you have full right to do so…
Yash: Relax Shivangi-I didn’t judge you. Here’s your cappuccino.
Shivangi: Thanks. Hey do you want to play a game, it’ll be fun.
Yash: C’mmon ya, we’re too grown up to play games. Tell me what you think of the current economic crisis.
Shivangi: I think that I don’t care. Please let’s play, I promise we’ll stop the moment you feel bored.
Yash: Ok, what is it about?
Shivangi: Oh, nothing, for the next 30 minutes, we’ll answer questions. But there’s a twist. We’ll only be speaking the truth. And before you ask, we are morally bound not to get hurt by whatever we hear, and NO judging
Yash: What, this is crazy. This is like the truth and dare only lesser people, and no dares. And by the way I always speak the truth.
Shivangi: This was your first and the last lie for the next 30 minutes. Let’s start
Yash (to himself): This is crazy.
Oh c’mon….. (Pauses) Ok let’s play
Shivangi: Were you talking to your mom earlier?
Yash: Of-course….(Pauses) No, it was a friend
Shivangi: Did you tell him we kissed
Yash: Yes
Shivangi: Awesome that was brave.
Yash: Did you tell anyone that we kissed.
Shivangi: No
Yash: Do you have a boy-friend or you made one up
Shivangi: I made one up.
Yash: Did you get fired?
Shivangi: No I didn’t
Yash (a little angered): Was I chosen to be called for the next round.
Shivangi: Yes. Are you mad at me?
Yash: Yes. Are you attracted to me?
Shivangi: Yes. Are you enjoying the game?
Yash: Hell yes! Is this meeting planned?
Shivangi: as in?
Yash: As in, did you purposely get down with me?
Shivangi: Yes
Yash: Do you like me?
Shivangi: No.
Yash: Wait you told me earlier that you were attracted to me and now you tell me that you don’t like me?
Shivangi: Do you like every girl you are attracted to?
Yash: No
Shivangi: Do you like me?
Yash: No, I love you.
Long Pause
Yash: Does this change anything?
Shivangi: No. Is anything what you told me about your childhood true?
Yash: Yes, a part of it
Shivangi: Which part?
Yash: That I dated three girls at a time. Wait no even that is not true, I dated four at a time.
Yash: Why did you kiss me?
Shivangi: We’re supposed to answer in Yes or No. So this doesn’t qualify as a question.
Yash: Ok did you kiss me out a sense of pity?
Shivangi: No, I really don’t know why I did it.
Yash: Do you want to sleep with me?
Shivangi: No, Do you?
Yash: Yes, Will you walk off now?
Shivangi: No. Will you judge me if I didn’t?
Yash: Yes. Ok please answer this and it cannot be in a yes or a no. Why are you sitting with me? It kills me, I don’t understand. You don’t like me; you are smart, intelligent and funny. You can get any guy. Why me?
Shivangi: See this is not the first time I am talking to you, and the reason I am talking to you is the same as always. I have nothing better to do. Anyway I guess now that the half an hour is over, I better get going. Have to attend a meeting. Have to help a company to increase its productivity.
Yash: You are a bitch.
Shivangi: I know. Here’s my card. Will see you soon.
Yash: Never (Tears the card in two)
Shivangi: Anyway bye!
Women exits
Bang bang, he shot me down
Bang bang, I hit the ground
Bang bang, that awful sound
Bang bang, my baby shot me down.
Yash: Hello
Nikhil: Hey man, it’s Nikhil, tell me what happened. Are you guys making out or something?
Yash hangs up, picks up the torn card and walks off
Nikhil: Bastard didn’t even answer. He always does this when he is with some girl. Lucky bastard.
Exuent!
Showing posts with label Two Beds and a Coffee Machine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Two Beds and a Coffee Machine. Show all posts
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Random Ramblings Part 3
Time: 2 weeks after Part 2
Scene: Jet Airways Flight No. 9W334, Delhi to Mumbai
Shivangi walks towards her seat. Suddenly she stops!
Shivangi (surprised and some what happy): Hi Yash, What are you doing here?
Yash: Shivangi!!!Ah! It’s you again. Well after you rejected my application, I am job hunting. You know interviewing for people who have to potential to recognize talent when it comes before them. I can’t believe you never even gave me another chance. By the way, how come you are sitting next to mere mortals like us? Where’s your business class seat?
Shivangi (sitting quietly): Never mind Yash.
(Behind)Passengers are requested to fasten their seat belts
5 minutes later
Yash: Why would you do this Shivangi, why?
Shivangi doesn’t answer
Yash (shouting): I am talking to you
Shivangi: Yash, you have caught me on my bad day. Please I cannot talk right now. Please, you can scream at me later
A tear trickles down her face
Yash (softens): Hey, don’t cry. What happened?
Shivangi: Nothing, really nothing
Yash: Shivangi, I am sorry. I realize I was terrible that day. No-one would have hired me. I would have not hired myself. Please sorry. Tell me what happened. I am not upset any more. In fact I am not job hunting, I already got placed with one of your competitors.
Shivangi: Not anymore!
Yash: What do you mean?
Shivangi: I got fired.
Yash: Whatttttt? Why, how, when?? Why would they do that?
Shivangi: That’s the way it is Yash. It happened the same day I interviewed you.
Yash: But what was the reason?
Shivangi: Let it be Yash. There is no point.
Yash: Listen Shivangi, it’s ok. I’ll forward your resume to my managers. Don’t worry it’s a matter of a few days.
Shivangi: That’s not the only thing Yash. My boyfriend of 5 years moved out today.
Yash: Boyfriend…moved out…as in?
Shivangi: I was living in with my boyfriend for the past 2 years and we had a break up in the morning
Yash: I am so sorry ya. What happened? Why did he do that?
Shivangi: Oh, it’s just that his mother of 30 years didn’t approve of me.
Yash: So? He just left? He didn’t try to explain it to her?
Shivangi: No he didn’t. In fact he blamed me for meeting up with his mom in jeans; and wearing no make-up; something which she judged me on
Yash: Wow! A horrible day. It’s going to be ok. He’ll repent it. I am telling you. By the way where are you going right now? I mean, do you have some work or something?
Shivangi: I don’t know Yash, I don’t know. Anyway, just so that you know, you were chosen to be called for another round, but then suddenly we were told not to hire anyone and cancel all the appointments. So…..
Yash: I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say.
Shivangi: Then don’t…..!
Yash: Shivangi, I know this is not a good time. But I think you should try and forget everything right now. Let’s go for coffee once we land. I’m sure you’ll feel better
Shivangi: Thanks Yash, but I don’t feel like doing anything really
Yash: Please I insist.
Shivangi: Fine, but (laughs) you’ll pay
Yash: Sure!
45 minutes later, Barista
Yash: There you go Shivangi, your cappuccino
Shivangi: Yash, I am sorry I judged you. You are a nice guy. Really. But why are you like this. Why this need to show your ugly side.
Yash: You know Shivangi, I had a terrible childhood. We were a middle-class family and my father could not afford me the luxuries that children in my society enjoyed. Besides I was quite fat and ugly, with pimples on my face. To top it, I had a running nose. Everyone hated me. No one wanted me. Children used to laugh at me, at my running nose. And thus grew a need in me to be accepted, to be loved. As I grew up, I realized that the world only respects success. If you are successful, you could be arrogant; you could scream at people; you could be an ass ho@# but you could still get people to love you. I learnt this and this became the truth of my life. As I grew up things started to get better, my father got a big promotion and my mom’s boutique started to get more and more customers. We moved to a big house. Meanwhile I saw the attitude of people changing towards me. Guys who never even looked at me offered me their lunch. Girls suddenly wanted me to take them out for coffee.It was then I thought of taking it out on everyone. The girls were my prop. I dated three at a time, breaking hearts; breaking trust; breaking faith. No one ever complained. I was the most famous guy in the college. It is ironic how even though I kept changing for the worse but still I was loved more than ever.
(Long silence)
It’s true Shivangi, the world only respects your chair. It only respects your face not your soul. This world is ugly. It’s not even worth living…….The world needs a person who can rule; they don’t like the people who are meek, who are helpless. Everyone wants an enabler, a prop. The day we are deemed not good enough to be either we are dumped.
(Long silence)
Wow, I think I have shared too much. I am sorry
Shivangi (with tears in her eyes): It’s ok Yash. It’s ok
Leans forward and kisses Yash on his lips.
Yash: wwwhyy?
Shivangi: I don’t know..I really don’t! Anyway I’ll just come back in a moment. Please order another cappuccino for me.
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi exits
Yash takes out his phone, and dials a 10 digit number.
Yash: Hello, Nikhil; I kissed her
Nikhil: Bingo!!!
Exuent!
Scene: Jet Airways Flight No. 9W334, Delhi to Mumbai
Shivangi walks towards her seat. Suddenly she stops!
Shivangi (surprised and some what happy): Hi Yash, What are you doing here?
Yash: Shivangi!!!Ah! It’s you again. Well after you rejected my application, I am job hunting. You know interviewing for people who have to potential to recognize talent when it comes before them. I can’t believe you never even gave me another chance. By the way, how come you are sitting next to mere mortals like us? Where’s your business class seat?
Shivangi (sitting quietly): Never mind Yash.
(Behind)Passengers are requested to fasten their seat belts
5 minutes later
Yash: Why would you do this Shivangi, why?
Shivangi doesn’t answer
Yash (shouting): I am talking to you
Shivangi: Yash, you have caught me on my bad day. Please I cannot talk right now. Please, you can scream at me later
A tear trickles down her face
Yash (softens): Hey, don’t cry. What happened?
Shivangi: Nothing, really nothing
Yash: Shivangi, I am sorry. I realize I was terrible that day. No-one would have hired me. I would have not hired myself. Please sorry. Tell me what happened. I am not upset any more. In fact I am not job hunting, I already got placed with one of your competitors.
Shivangi: Not anymore!
Yash: What do you mean?
Shivangi: I got fired.
Yash: Whatttttt? Why, how, when?? Why would they do that?
Shivangi: That’s the way it is Yash. It happened the same day I interviewed you.
Yash: But what was the reason?
Shivangi: Let it be Yash. There is no point.
Yash: Listen Shivangi, it’s ok. I’ll forward your resume to my managers. Don’t worry it’s a matter of a few days.
Shivangi: That’s not the only thing Yash. My boyfriend of 5 years moved out today.
Yash: Boyfriend…moved out…as in?
Shivangi: I was living in with my boyfriend for the past 2 years and we had a break up in the morning
Yash: I am so sorry ya. What happened? Why did he do that?
Shivangi: Oh, it’s just that his mother of 30 years didn’t approve of me.
Yash: So? He just left? He didn’t try to explain it to her?
Shivangi: No he didn’t. In fact he blamed me for meeting up with his mom in jeans; and wearing no make-up; something which she judged me on
Yash: Wow! A horrible day. It’s going to be ok. He’ll repent it. I am telling you. By the way where are you going right now? I mean, do you have some work or something?
Shivangi: I don’t know Yash, I don’t know. Anyway, just so that you know, you were chosen to be called for another round, but then suddenly we were told not to hire anyone and cancel all the appointments. So…..
Yash: I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say.
Shivangi: Then don’t…..!
Yash: Shivangi, I know this is not a good time. But I think you should try and forget everything right now. Let’s go for coffee once we land. I’m sure you’ll feel better
Shivangi: Thanks Yash, but I don’t feel like doing anything really
Yash: Please I insist.
Shivangi: Fine, but (laughs) you’ll pay
Yash: Sure!
45 minutes later, Barista
Yash: There you go Shivangi, your cappuccino
Shivangi: Yash, I am sorry I judged you. You are a nice guy. Really. But why are you like this. Why this need to show your ugly side.
Yash: You know Shivangi, I had a terrible childhood. We were a middle-class family and my father could not afford me the luxuries that children in my society enjoyed. Besides I was quite fat and ugly, with pimples on my face. To top it, I had a running nose. Everyone hated me. No one wanted me. Children used to laugh at me, at my running nose. And thus grew a need in me to be accepted, to be loved. As I grew up, I realized that the world only respects success. If you are successful, you could be arrogant; you could scream at people; you could be an ass ho@# but you could still get people to love you. I learnt this and this became the truth of my life. As I grew up things started to get better, my father got a big promotion and my mom’s boutique started to get more and more customers. We moved to a big house. Meanwhile I saw the attitude of people changing towards me. Guys who never even looked at me offered me their lunch. Girls suddenly wanted me to take them out for coffee.It was then I thought of taking it out on everyone. The girls were my prop. I dated three at a time, breaking hearts; breaking trust; breaking faith. No one ever complained. I was the most famous guy in the college. It is ironic how even though I kept changing for the worse but still I was loved more than ever.
(Long silence)
It’s true Shivangi, the world only respects your chair. It only respects your face not your soul. This world is ugly. It’s not even worth living…….The world needs a person who can rule; they don’t like the people who are meek, who are helpless. Everyone wants an enabler, a prop. The day we are deemed not good enough to be either we are dumped.
(Long silence)
Wow, I think I have shared too much. I am sorry
Shivangi (with tears in her eyes): It’s ok Yash. It’s ok
Leans forward and kisses Yash on his lips.
Yash: wwwhyy?
Shivangi: I don’t know..I really don’t! Anyway I’ll just come back in a moment. Please order another cappuccino for me.
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi exits
Yash takes out his phone, and dials a 10 digit number.
Yash: Hello, Nikhil; I kissed her
Nikhil: Bingo!!!
Exuent!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Random Ramblings Part One and Half (The Mourning After)
Scene: Next morning after the wedding
Yash takes out his Vertu mobile and starts dialing a 10 digit number
Yash: Hey dude, it’s me
Man on the other side (MOTOS): Hey Yash!
Yash: Dude, you wouldn’t believe it, I got turned down by a woman.
MOTOS: Whatttttt! You kidding me, whooo, whatt, when, how!
Yash: Stop it dude. I am feeling terrible; she mocked me as if I was some perverted bastard.
MOTOS: (Smiles) Dude, you are one perverted bastard
Yash: Motherf#$%#
MOTOS: Ok, ok, tell me what happened.
Yash: No I won’t. You are a pig. May you die a virgin!!
MOTOS: That I will anyway. Achcha tell me yaar, please.
Yash: So I was there at this wedding looking at prospective targets. Then I saw this female. She looked like an easy lay, what with her dress, and her low neck top. She was even smoking, the classic sign of a women being easy.
MOTOS: And then…
Yash: Like a man smitten, I went up to her and used my finest line
MOTOS: Ok, the “fail to notice how beautiful you look.” one
Yash: Yeah that, but then she acted as if she had heard it all her life.
MOTOS: Was she hot or something
Yash: No man, she was below average, just an easy lay nothing more
MOTOS: May be she was the intellectual types. Did you use the IIT line?
Yash: I did, nothing worked man. She even told me that being an engineer she thought I was desperate. I mean how did she know….In fact she was herself an IIT admit.
MOTOS: You’re kidding me. (Laughing) Then she must have been smart
Yash: Stop it yaar, you know girls are not smart. It’s just that she knew how to act smart. Wait I need to attend a call….
Hello…Hi Neha, I mean Sneha..Ya baby, we’re on. Ya I was missing you last night. I realized I was being a pig by not picking up your calls…yes I love you…No I am never going to cheat on you….You know how much I love you…Yes sure…Please wear that dress I brought you…yea..tht one….Baby, I need to go right now…I am in a meeting. Of course I couldn’t avoid your call. Yea see you then.. Buh Bye. I love you!
Ya dude, I am back
MOTOS: Who was it?
Yash: Yea a cranky bitch. So where was I?
MOTOS: You were telling me how the girl knows how to act smart.
Yash: Yea, so the bitch didn’t even tell me her name or her number. Can you believe it?
MOTOS: This is your true test. You’ve found your match. Find her, tell her how rich you are, how big you are, ouch I mean big hearted. Tell her that you love her. Tell her how you get 10 grands as pocket money
Yash: (sarcastically) Yea, now I need to take advice from you
MOTOS: Stop acting like you’re God’s gift to women
Yash: But I am, atleast that’s what my previous girl friends told me.
MOTOS: ok, here’s what you’ll do. You’ll find her, act all geeky and humble. Ask her to give you another chance, then take her to a small quite restaurant and get her to drink. You know the rest…
Yash: I guess I can do that, but let me first see her….This is terrible. I hate her….
Lame girl, here I come
MOTOS: All the best, by the way, if you manage to score, can I get Sneha.
Yash: You bet! Ok then dude, will see you sometime. Buh Bye!
MOTOS: Yea. HAPPY Humping.Bye!
Exeunt!
Yash takes out his Vertu mobile and starts dialing a 10 digit number
Yash: Hey dude, it’s me
Man on the other side (MOTOS): Hey Yash!
Yash: Dude, you wouldn’t believe it, I got turned down by a woman.
MOTOS: Whatttttt! You kidding me, whooo, whatt, when, how!
Yash: Stop it dude. I am feeling terrible; she mocked me as if I was some perverted bastard.
MOTOS: (Smiles) Dude, you are one perverted bastard
Yash: Motherf#$%#
MOTOS: Ok, ok, tell me what happened.
Yash: No I won’t. You are a pig. May you die a virgin!!
MOTOS: That I will anyway. Achcha tell me yaar, please.
Yash: So I was there at this wedding looking at prospective targets. Then I saw this female. She looked like an easy lay, what with her dress, and her low neck top. She was even smoking, the classic sign of a women being easy.
MOTOS: And then…
Yash: Like a man smitten, I went up to her and used my finest line
MOTOS: Ok, the “fail to notice how beautiful you look.” one
Yash: Yeah that, but then she acted as if she had heard it all her life.
MOTOS: Was she hot or something
Yash: No man, she was below average, just an easy lay nothing more
MOTOS: May be she was the intellectual types. Did you use the IIT line?
Yash: I did, nothing worked man. She even told me that being an engineer she thought I was desperate. I mean how did she know….In fact she was herself an IIT admit.
MOTOS: You’re kidding me. (Laughing) Then she must have been smart
Yash: Stop it yaar, you know girls are not smart. It’s just that she knew how to act smart. Wait I need to attend a call….
Hello…Hi Neha, I mean Sneha..Ya baby, we’re on. Ya I was missing you last night. I realized I was being a pig by not picking up your calls…yes I love you…No I am never going to cheat on you….You know how much I love you…Yes sure…Please wear that dress I brought you…yea..tht one….Baby, I need to go right now…I am in a meeting. Of course I couldn’t avoid your call. Yea see you then.. Buh Bye. I love you!
Ya dude, I am back
MOTOS: Who was it?
Yash: Yea a cranky bitch. So where was I?
MOTOS: You were telling me how the girl knows how to act smart.
Yash: Yea, so the bitch didn’t even tell me her name or her number. Can you believe it?
MOTOS: This is your true test. You’ve found your match. Find her, tell her how rich you are, how big you are, ouch I mean big hearted. Tell her that you love her. Tell her how you get 10 grands as pocket money
Yash: (sarcastically) Yea, now I need to take advice from you
MOTOS: Stop acting like you’re God’s gift to women
Yash: But I am, atleast that’s what my previous girl friends told me.
MOTOS: ok, here’s what you’ll do. You’ll find her, act all geeky and humble. Ask her to give you another chance, then take her to a small quite restaurant and get her to drink. You know the rest…
Yash: I guess I can do that, but let me first see her….This is terrible. I hate her….
Lame girl, here I come
MOTOS: All the best, by the way, if you manage to score, can I get Sneha.
Yash: You bet! Ok then dude, will see you sometime. Buh Bye!
MOTOS: Yea. HAPPY Humping.Bye!
Exeunt!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Random Ramblings Part 2
Time: 5 years later
Scene: Hyatt Lobby
Man: Hey, aren’t you the same chick I met at the wedding 5 years back
Woman: Huh! No I am not.
Man: Don’t lie to me
Woman: I am not lying; really I am NO CHICK you met at a party
Man: Ok, I get it. I am sorry, are you the same lady I met at the party
Woman: You haven’t changed one bit. You are beyond repair and totally not worth my time. Anyway how may I help you?
Man: I am here for an interview. What brings you here?
Woman: What interview?
Man: Ah, you know I got through IIM Ahd (with characteristic smug), am here to interview for McKinsey. What about you?
Woman: I am here to interview you for McKinsey.
Man: Holy cr$%!
Woman: Well that’s a good start. I am here for a smoke. Will see you in some time, till then why don’t you comb your hair, and may be wash your face as well. You hardly look like you’ll make a good impression otherwise.
Woman exits
Man (to himself): This can’t be happening. How can she be with McKinsey? Is she playing with me? Let me check.Shit, I don’t even know her name. What should I do now? May be wash my face first.
(Rumbles) This will also pass. This will also pass
Exeunt!
Scene: Room No. 69, 20 minutes later
A smartly dressed woman is sitting. She calls the reception
Woman: Please send the next candidate in.
3 minutes later.
Man: May I come in?
Woman: Yes, please. Have a seat.
Man (Shivering): Hi, I am Yash.
Woman: Good to have you here Yash. I am Shivangi. I am an Engagement Manager with McKinsey. So let us start with your brief background.
Yash: Errr…Ummmm. My nnamme is Yash Johar, no I mean Yash Gupta. I am a ….
(To himself) I can’t do it. This can’t be happening. How can I be working under her? Lame girl, with a thick accent and no brain.
…………………….I am a team player. My biggest strengths are my team skills….. I love …………
I believe my 2 years at IIM Ahd have………………
……………………………………………
Shivangi(smiling): Ok, that was impressive. So you are a national level debater. Why don’t you speak for 2 mins on “Women make better manager than men?”
Yash: (to himself) Yes of course. Bitch!
That’s a nice topic. Let me just recollect my thoughts.
1 minute later. Ok here I go:
Women have been at the forefront………..
………………………………………….
…………………………………………
Therefore I believe women make better managers than men.
Shivangi: That was pretty convincing. Ok let us get to a case now. A case study is a critical component of our recruiting process. Case studies are descriptions of real or hypothetical business problems. Candidates are expected to understand, analyze, and recommend solutions to these problems. So are you ready?
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi: A client of ours, a small flower chain store has asked us to evaluate the potential of setting up a store, near a famous banquet hall (booked almost 200 days a year). They believe that a lot of men who attend weddings/parties look out for their prospective partners there. What factors will you consider while accepting or refuting the clients’ hypothesis?
Yash (to himself) I can’t believe her, is she trying to target me for what I did 5 years ago.
Ummm..Shivangi that’s an interesting case………………….
……………………………………………………………….
……………………………………………………………….
So I would recommend the client to reconsider his decision.
Shivangi: Well the client asked you to evaluate the potential. So there is no question of reconsidering. Anyway I guess that’s it from our side. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: (in a trance)
Shivangi: Yashhhh. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: Yea, sure. If I may ask. What did you do after NIFT?
Shivangi: Well nothing specific really. I worked with Ralph Lauren for 4 years and then went to HBS and finally chose to work with McKinsey.
Yash (Surprised): But weren’t you in NIFT 5 years earlier? The timelines don’t make any sense.
Shivangi: Yea..at that time I had already graduated from NIFT. Any other question?
Yash: Are you married?
Shivangi: You may go now Mr.Gupta. You will be informed of the next steps in an email. Please be patient for a few days. Thank you.
Yash: Thank you Shivangi
Exeunt!
Disclaimer: The events mentioned in the scene are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events is coincidental. McKinsey interview process may differ radically from what is mentioned in the scene.
Scene: Hyatt Lobby
Man: Hey, aren’t you the same chick I met at the wedding 5 years back
Woman: Huh! No I am not.
Man: Don’t lie to me
Woman: I am not lying; really I am NO CHICK you met at a party
Man: Ok, I get it. I am sorry, are you the same lady I met at the party
Woman: You haven’t changed one bit. You are beyond repair and totally not worth my time. Anyway how may I help you?
Man: I am here for an interview. What brings you here?
Woman: What interview?
Man: Ah, you know I got through IIM Ahd (with characteristic smug), am here to interview for McKinsey. What about you?
Woman: I am here to interview you for McKinsey.
Man: Holy cr$%!
Woman: Well that’s a good start. I am here for a smoke. Will see you in some time, till then why don’t you comb your hair, and may be wash your face as well. You hardly look like you’ll make a good impression otherwise.
Woman exits
Man (to himself): This can’t be happening. How can she be with McKinsey? Is she playing with me? Let me check.Shit, I don’t even know her name. What should I do now? May be wash my face first.
(Rumbles) This will also pass. This will also pass
Exeunt!
Scene: Room No. 69, 20 minutes later
A smartly dressed woman is sitting. She calls the reception
Woman: Please send the next candidate in.
3 minutes later.
Man: May I come in?
Woman: Yes, please. Have a seat.
Man (Shivering): Hi, I am Yash.
Woman: Good to have you here Yash. I am Shivangi. I am an Engagement Manager with McKinsey. So let us start with your brief background.
Yash: Errr…Ummmm. My nnamme is Yash Johar, no I mean Yash Gupta. I am a ….
(To himself) I can’t do it. This can’t be happening. How can I be working under her? Lame girl, with a thick accent and no brain.
…………………….I am a team player. My biggest strengths are my team skills….. I love …………
I believe my 2 years at IIM Ahd have………………
……………………………………………
Shivangi(smiling): Ok, that was impressive. So you are a national level debater. Why don’t you speak for 2 mins on “Women make better manager than men?”
Yash: (to himself) Yes of course. Bitch!
That’s a nice topic. Let me just recollect my thoughts.
1 minute later. Ok here I go:
Women have been at the forefront………..
………………………………………….
…………………………………………
Therefore I believe women make better managers than men.
Shivangi: That was pretty convincing. Ok let us get to a case now. A case study is a critical component of our recruiting process. Case studies are descriptions of real or hypothetical business problems. Candidates are expected to understand, analyze, and recommend solutions to these problems. So are you ready?
Yash: Sure!
Shivangi: A client of ours, a small flower chain store has asked us to evaluate the potential of setting up a store, near a famous banquet hall (booked almost 200 days a year). They believe that a lot of men who attend weddings/parties look out for their prospective partners there. What factors will you consider while accepting or refuting the clients’ hypothesis?
Yash (to himself) I can’t believe her, is she trying to target me for what I did 5 years ago.
Ummm..Shivangi that’s an interesting case………………….
……………………………………………………………….
……………………………………………………………….
So I would recommend the client to reconsider his decision.
Shivangi: Well the client asked you to evaluate the potential. So there is no question of reconsidering. Anyway I guess that’s it from our side. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: (in a trance)
Shivangi: Yashhhh. Do you have any questions for me?
Yash: Yea, sure. If I may ask. What did you do after NIFT?
Shivangi: Well nothing specific really. I worked with Ralph Lauren for 4 years and then went to HBS and finally chose to work with McKinsey.
Yash (Surprised): But weren’t you in NIFT 5 years earlier? The timelines don’t make any sense.
Shivangi: Yea..at that time I had already graduated from NIFT. Any other question?
Yash: Are you married?
Shivangi: You may go now Mr.Gupta. You will be informed of the next steps in an email. Please be patient for a few days. Thank you.
Yash: Thank you Shivangi
Exeunt!
Disclaimer: The events mentioned in the scene are fictitious. Any resemblance to real events is coincidental. McKinsey interview process may differ radically from what is mentioned in the scene.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Random Ramblings
Scene: Wedding party
Man: Hi! Can’t fail to notice how beautiful you look.
Woman: Do I know you?
Man: Well, even if you didn’t it wouldn’t change your beauty.
Woman: Ya, I know guys like you. Nice try.
Man: Hey hang on; see I know you are getting bored. Let’s have a harmless conversation. Please don’t run away from me as if I am one psychotic dude. You can check my background; I come from an honorable family.
Woman: (Laughs), Alright. But I have a few conditions. You will not ask me my name, and you will not even try to get my number. Deal?
Man: Deal. You are one hard nut to crack. Anyway so what do you do?
Woman: Well, I am into fashion designing.
Man: Ah! Classic, you know I have always wondered that women who are into fashion would make the best combination with engineers like me
Woman: Too bad, I think the opposite. So you are an engineer (sarcastically)
Man: Yeah and this is bad because…?
Woman: Quite clearly you would be desperate. Desperate for attention, desperate for women, and generally money and stuff
Man: Wow, some opinion yaa..Well can’t blame you…It’s easy to judge..! But I still maintain my stance.
Woman: (ignoring) Anyway which college
Man: (as if waiting for the question) IIT Delhi
Woman: Hmm…you think that you are quite smart don’t you?
Man: Well not really. Why would you say that?
Woman: Could get it from the smugness in your face when you answered my question. Anyway I got admitted into IIT, but a change of heart took me to NIFT.
Man: (Surprised) Wow!!!
Woman: Anyway, cut it. What do you do in your free time except hitting on girls?
Man: Umm…I just don’t do anything. Just sit and relax!
Woman: Don’t you get bored?
Man: I love myself too much to get bored in my own company.
Woman: You know, you remind me of my ex-boy friend. I hated that guy!
Man: Ah! Joker. Good one
Woman: No I mean it!
Man: You know throughout the conversation, you did not leave one opportunity to put me down. But strangely enough, I am loving every moment of it!
Woman: Yea, I can understand, engineers and desperation go hand in hand. OK, tell me your count?
Man: Count?
Woman: How many women have you slept with?
Man: (Surprised) And that is important because?
Woman: Generally..
Man: Well if you must know I am a recycled virgin
Woman: Recycled virgin, and what is this supposed to mean?
Man: I mean, I believe virginity can be cured; you just need to understand the symptoms.
Woman: You know I can’t believe that I am even talking to you, you are so not my type
Man: And what is your type
Woman: For starters, he has to be unpretentious.
Man: Haha..I have got to know you better…I have never been so humiliated in my life..you give me a challenge, and I am loving it.
Woman: I am not your Mt. Everest Mr. I am leaving, I guess I have had enough of you
Man: Don’t go
Woman: Sorry but I need to
Man: Could you at least tell me your name, or give me your number
Woman: You’ve forgotten the deal.
Man: Ok, please grant me this: If I meet you again somewhere, some other day, you will talk to me.
Woman: Granted. Take care, and please be yourself!
Man: I will!
Woman exits..
Man (to himself): I love this girl. If only I could meet her again.!
Exeunt!
Man: Hi! Can’t fail to notice how beautiful you look.
Woman: Do I know you?
Man: Well, even if you didn’t it wouldn’t change your beauty.
Woman: Ya, I know guys like you. Nice try.
Man: Hey hang on; see I know you are getting bored. Let’s have a harmless conversation. Please don’t run away from me as if I am one psychotic dude. You can check my background; I come from an honorable family.
Woman: (Laughs), Alright. But I have a few conditions. You will not ask me my name, and you will not even try to get my number. Deal?
Man: Deal. You are one hard nut to crack. Anyway so what do you do?
Woman: Well, I am into fashion designing.
Man: Ah! Classic, you know I have always wondered that women who are into fashion would make the best combination with engineers like me
Woman: Too bad, I think the opposite. So you are an engineer (sarcastically)
Man: Yeah and this is bad because…?
Woman: Quite clearly you would be desperate. Desperate for attention, desperate for women, and generally money and stuff
Man: Wow, some opinion yaa..Well can’t blame you…It’s easy to judge..! But I still maintain my stance.
Woman: (ignoring) Anyway which college
Man: (as if waiting for the question) IIT Delhi
Woman: Hmm…you think that you are quite smart don’t you?
Man: Well not really. Why would you say that?
Woman: Could get it from the smugness in your face when you answered my question. Anyway I got admitted into IIT, but a change of heart took me to NIFT.
Man: (Surprised) Wow!!!
Woman: Anyway, cut it. What do you do in your free time except hitting on girls?
Man: Umm…I just don’t do anything. Just sit and relax!
Woman: Don’t you get bored?
Man: I love myself too much to get bored in my own company.
Woman: You know, you remind me of my ex-boy friend. I hated that guy!
Man: Ah! Joker. Good one
Woman: No I mean it!
Man: You know throughout the conversation, you did not leave one opportunity to put me down. But strangely enough, I am loving every moment of it!
Woman: Yea, I can understand, engineers and desperation go hand in hand. OK, tell me your count?
Man: Count?
Woman: How many women have you slept with?
Man: (Surprised) And that is important because?
Woman: Generally..
Man: Well if you must know I am a recycled virgin
Woman: Recycled virgin, and what is this supposed to mean?
Man: I mean, I believe virginity can be cured; you just need to understand the symptoms.
Woman: You know I can’t believe that I am even talking to you, you are so not my type
Man: And what is your type
Woman: For starters, he has to be unpretentious.
Man: Haha..I have got to know you better…I have never been so humiliated in my life..you give me a challenge, and I am loving it.
Woman: I am not your Mt. Everest Mr. I am leaving, I guess I have had enough of you
Man: Don’t go
Woman: Sorry but I need to
Man: Could you at least tell me your name, or give me your number
Woman: You’ve forgotten the deal.
Man: Ok, please grant me this: If I meet you again somewhere, some other day, you will talk to me.
Woman: Granted. Take care, and please be yourself!
Man: I will!
Woman exits..
Man (to himself): I love this girl. If only I could meet her again.!
Exeunt!
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